The Perks of Being a Wallflower enlightened me.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

what if nothing ever changed

Everyone thinks they've got it harder than anyone else, but everyone has their problems. There's been a lot going on recently, and too many changes is scaring me. I wish my dad wasn't such a douche bag because of how broken my mom is. She needs someone who really cares for her.
Yesterday, i filled out an application and had a job interview and it was one of the scariest experiences of my life. I'm not ready to grow up yet and stop depending on others. I want to be a little kid again who has no idea what's really going on and be able to trust and love my dad again. I hate that feeling that nothing will ever be the same again. Even though many people think I'm strong, and mature for my age, I'm falling apart between my dad leaving, growing up and getting a job, and moving. I just want to escape for a while... even though I just got home from seven weeks of vacation. After being home for three days, I'm ready to turn back around and ignore everything bad again.
I wish life was perfect and friends were always there and people stayed the same. I really do.